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A great time was had by all who attended the 10th Anniversary celebration of Pride and Joy Families.
53 people, representing 19 families, gathered together at the Q Center in Syracuse for an evening of fun, food and family. Long time Pride and Joy dad, Vince Sgambati, took us on a trip down memory lane as he read from his past and current journal about life as a gay dad raising a daughter. Kids were wowed by a magician and balloon animals, and had fun with arts and crafts. Project Director, Claudia Stallman, encouraged everyone to look toward the future and see what great things lie ahead for Pride and Joy Families. We hope to see everyone at our conference in Rochester in April of 2011!
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Guest Speaker Dr. Charlotte Patterson, 2009 Pride and Joy Families Weekend Conference.
More Videos from the 2009 Conference
'Pride and Joy' conference helps parents, kids connect
UTICA —
An unspoken ache fills 10-year-old Molly Stanton’s heart when her schoolmates use the words gay or queer to express their negative feelings toward something or someone.
The words cut deep into the fabric of the little girl’s Auburn family – made up of her sister Michaela Stanton, mother Jill Stanton, and her mother’s partner Grace Plvan. Few of her peers could possibly understand that hurt.
But 11-year-old Emily Harrigan — the daughter of lesbian parents — could relate. Like many others, the little girls got the chance to connect at this week’s 2009 Pride and Joy Families Weekend Conference at the Radisson Hotel Utica-Centre. That’s where 250 individuals, including 45 lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender families, came together for three days to participate in educational workshops and social activities revolving around the joys and challenges of being part of a same-sex family. “It’s a good thing to meet other LGBT kids and parents — just to meet other kids to hear their stories, just to know there are other kids, and I’m not the only one with an LGBT family,” Molly said, as Emily stood close by near the end of the conference Sunday.
The girls, who live almost four hours apart, will build on their newfound bond as pen pals, they said. Those bonds are important, some said.“It’s so important for our children to find support and commonality, said Claudia Stallman, project director of the Lesbian and Gay Family Building Project, an event sponsor. The weekend’s workshops and panels were one way of providing that for children and for adults. Workshops on topics such as legal protection for LGBT parents and communicating with your children about being a part of a LGBT family were among the conference’s most popular choices, Stallman said. Education and knowledge – for all people – about LGBT families is vital, she added.“It’s very important for us to pave the way for our children, so they don’t have to spend their lives defending themselves,” she said.
Some same-sex parents in attendance at the conference said the event helped them cope with the extra challenges their families face.“The world is sort of set up for families with a mom and a dad; Pride and Joy makes living in that world a little easier,” said Sean Massey, a Binghamton common council member who, with his partner of 23 years, adopted son Alfie Massey, 6, six years ago.“When we’re not at the conference and Alfie’s going to school, we have other families like ours, but we are in the minority,” he said.
Being a part of that minority presents challenges from others, like ignorance or faulty assumptions. “There aren’t materials at school that might look like our families, there are assumptions made, and we end up having to educate,” Massey said. “And although it gets tiring, it’s certainly worthwhile,” he said, taking a moment to gently scold Alfie for taking a ball from one of his older peers.
The minority spot isn’t always challenging, however. Often, what bonds parents are their children, and the title of parent connects Massey, his partner Loren Couch and Alfie with heterosexual-parent-led families, Massey said.“What I notice is the way we connect with one another is not about my partner, it’s not about sexual orientation, it’s about us both being parents,” he said. “And although I always anticipate there being negative reaction, most of the time we talk about the issues of raising a 6-year-old – issues at school and making play dates.”
That blind acceptance is how Emily hopes others will see her family of two moms and two adopted daughters. “(Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer) parents are just like anyone else on the inside, but they just look different from the outside,” Emily said, leaning her head into the crook of mom Cindy Harrigan’s arm.
http://www.uticaod.com/archive/x1098184948/Pride-and-Joy-conference-helps-parents-kids-connect
pressconnects.com
Press & Sun Bulletun
April 19, 2009
VALERIE ZEHL / Staff Photo
Patty Ross, left, Heather Hauer and their two children, Harrison, 3, and Madeline, 1, find support, guidance and friendship in the Pride and Joy Families group.
Family of 4 builds on gay pride
It's one of a half-dozen white houses on the block; a working-class two-story like many in Johnson City. Inside, two parents and two little ones play together in the living room; two cats and a dog compete for available sun puddles.
Jelly letters spell out W-e-l-c-o-m- e on the front window; hearts and messages of love decorate interior walls.
This home, though, is a bit different than most.
Heather Hauer and Patty Ross are the parents. They're both women, life partners who have been together more than a decade.
Artificially inseminated from the same anonymous donor twice, Heather gave birth to Harrison, 3, and months-old daughter, Madeline. Patty adopted both children in a second-parent legal procedure.
Patty, 42, confesses that she was envious that Heather got to carry the babies under her heart; that Heather, 31, could breast-feed them when they cried.
They're both called "Mommy," and they've had no troubles at all with neighbors or other acquaintances in the community.
They've also found support in the Pride and Joy Families group of other parents like themselves.
Locally, more than 70 families are part of Pride and Joy, which offers education as well as fellowship and fun - and an upcoming conference at which Gov. David A. Paterson's bill regarding gay marriage will likely be a hot topic.
The 2009 Pride and Joy Families Weekend Conference will be held April 24-26 in Utica.
"The conference will bring together lesbian/ gay/ bisexual/ transgender/ queer (LGBTQ) parents, their children and aspiring parents for three days of learning and socializing, " explains Claudia Stallman, director of the Lesbian and Gay Family Building Project. The project - with co-presenters Family Equality Council (www.familyequality.org) and COLAGE (www.COLAGE.org) - and Gay Parent Magazine (www.gayparentmag.com<) will sponsor the event.
"As with the two previous Pride and Joy Conferences, held in Ithaca in 2001 and Binghamton in 2005, families will gather from all over upstate New York and beyond. Adult workshop topics include legal and policy protections for families, considering parenthood, raising healthy trans-racially adopted children, and talking to teens about sex."
Children and youth programs will be provided by COLAGE, known nationally for their fun youth empowerment and leadership development programming for children with one or more LGBTQ parents," Claudia says.
Madeline is still too young to understand, but Harrison already asks questions and notices the differences in his family.
Talking with parents in similar situations has been helpful to Heather and Patty, although there's really not a lot of explaining to do: Harrison and Madeline have two parents who love them, and each other, very much.
For more information regarding the 2009 Conference, please visit www.uticaOD.com (News and Information for the Mohawk Valley)
Our House Film Tour
2005 LGBT Families Conference
The Lesbian and Gay Family Building Project held its first weekend-long LGBT* families conference from November 11 to 13 at the Binghamton Regency Hotel in Binghamton , NY.
Our 2005 Pride and Joy Families Weekend Conference was a huge success with 70 families participating. Thanks to everyone who helped make the conference so spectacular!